I need your help. Never before have I asked anything of you, but now I will. We need a couch, people. Desperately. And, we found one. A good one. In fact, it is quite possibly the most comfortable couch that I have ever rested my ass on. The problem? It costs $900.00 samolians. That's a lot of kablingie. So, I ask of you to donate $5-$10 into the "In Need Of A Couch" fund. INOAC will then thankfully repay you by allowing you to rest your ass on the couch when the need arises. Also, a picture could be taken of you sitting on said couch. There is no guarantee that you will receive the picture in the future, but it's the thought that counts.

So, the next time you go out and are thinking about blowing $5-$10 on a hat for your monkey, just remember that monkeys don't like wearing hats, and then put that money back in your fanny pack and say to your self, "I think I'll donate this cash flow to INOAC." You won't regret it!

Even though INOAC does not promote hatless monkeys running around America, we don't like being couchless either...




Slapped up here on 4/30/2002 04:25:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

I am really excited about the new Band-Aid liquid bandage. I can predict that, in the future, the liquid bandage will be the only kind of injury fixation that I will use.

Also, I can predict that if I ever have to have a Poodle, I am going to name it "Noodle". And, if it ever has a cut - I'll use Band-Aid brand liquid bandage.

------

I acquired a fuzzy dinosaur as a kind of momento for my trip home to see Tenacious D. Not only is the dinosaur fuzzy, and cute, and totally rad - but, his eyes follow you.... it's really kinda creepy:

Here's one.
Here's the other.




Slapped up here on 4/29/2002 02:08:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

Well, it's official - Tenacious D is as real as sasquatch. I cannot believe how good of a show Tenacious D puts on. It was so incredible. If you ever get the chance to see a show of theirs, don't hesitate to go. I can try to explain how much I enjoyed the full 2 hrs, but I'd fail. I'll just say:
Along with the witty banter that occurs between the two, and the songs that are both inappropriate and delightfully random, this concert was the concert to which all other concerts will be measured against.

I could offer up a list of highlights. But, taken out of context the high points would seem to lose their flare and would just appear only slightly amusing when in actuality they were highly amusing. So, I basically don't want to ruin it.
<><><><><><><><>
And, I didn't leave western WA w/out taking a horrendous amount of pictures... here are some favorites:

My dog, Bull-dozer Daisy, and I, surly Suzy.

Photogenic Mac and Chee.

The Beachness:
Sunset from the shore.
Foamy water.
Sunset from the pool parking lot. Can you see heron? I know you can...





Slapped up here on 4/28/2002 10:45:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

Fun with Amino Acids:

"Lysine - Leucine - we all scream for ice cream!"




Slapped up here on 4/23/2002 11:04:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

I have a hard time differentiating between fiction and reality when it comes to famous people. I think it's because famous actors play fictional characters. And since I've seen them only as those fictional characters, and not in real life [with my own 2 eyes], it's only appropriate that -- in my mind, famous people are fictional characters.
They could be as fabricated as the movies are, as far as I'm concerned. I even have a hard time thinking that places like Hollywood or Delaware actually exist since I have never seen them with my own eyes... I think I have problems. Or, I just need to get out more.

Soooo, on Thursday, I go home to see Tenacious D in Seattle. And, not until just now did it hit me that Tenacious D is real people! It's Jack and it's Kyle and it's going to be real life. I am going to see them with out the filter of the TV between us. Tenacious D will no longer be fictional, they'll be real. As real as flatulence. As real as a spatula.

It usually isn't so weird for me to think of bands as being nonfictional because bands [for the most part] portray themselves. And, a music career is more plausible for me to fathom than a movie or TV career. However, Jables and Rage Kage are actors themselves. So, it's like a double whammy for me. Coupled with the fact that I have followed them for over a year now and almost came to the realization and acception of the fact that I would probably never see them live. But -- that's going to change. And, I am psyched. Pumped. Filled to the gills with glee.


Slapped up here on 4/22/2002 01:24:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

I'm still enthralled with the picture stuff. The novelty of the digital camera has not faded. My poor Fuji Finepix is getting worn out! I carry the camera everywhere with me [I love the little thing], and it ensures that nothing photo-worthy happens...
Because, the rare times that I don't take the camera is when something incredible happens. And then I only have my mediocre eyesight, but memory like a steel trap to archive the event. But, it is a rare occasion when I won't say, "I should take a picture of this..." when I have my camera, and I just thought you guys would like to see a smidgen of what my day actually looks like, instead of how I said it felt like, or seemed like...

So, here is what I look at everyday. My desk area. As you can see, there is not much actual area on the desk... Present are the pop bottles and various notebooks that riddle my life.

Then, there's class. I usually don't take pictures during class because I don't want to appear like a total tool. So, if I do feel so inclined to snap off a few shots, I make sure the flash isn't on... Both of these are physics - the first one is lecture, the second is lab. And, the blurriness is so appropriate because that's actually how clear physics is to me...

The walk home is always interesting. Actually, this is the only interesting thing I've seen walking home lately. Well, there's always that dead bird. But that's just gross.

Then, once I get home, the camera calls to me... begging me to find something to take a picture of. I usually find something.

And, night time usually looks like this... or this[i've posted this before]... or this.

Those sunset shots freak me out. I still can't believe that they were a product of my camera and I. Because, we're a team you know. And a damn good one.



Slapped up here on 4/22/2002 12:02:00 AM by: Me, Suzy...

I like ears. They're so weird - ears are. And so very functional. But I don't have to tell you that. However, when you study the ear too much, it almost becomes too weird because they're so ugly. They're all curvy and full of ridges and tiny caves. And, you begin to wonder how they have survived so long on either side of your head with out being torn off somehow. This theory can also be applied to other body parts. Especially feet.


Slapped up here on 4/21/2002 05:00:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

Words cannot express how lame I think Jay Leno is.
His jokes just suck.
And, his delivery is horrendous, absolutely horrendous. The fact that he feels the need to "explain" the joke by saying the punchline multiple times makes me wonder how anybody thinks he is humorous. Or, listening to him following up the joke with a phrase like, "No - because that's not good... That's not something you want to do..." like it's going to further substantiate that the butt of the joke is a moron makes me cringe and reach for the remote.
Jay Leno is really painful for me to watch. But, so is all late night television programming these days. It's like, because we're half awake, they're allowed to offer sub-par entertainment because most of the viewers are either - A. Drunk. or - B. Stupid.
I used to stand strong that Letterman was the best. But, after hearing the same joke delivered night after night, and after being forced to hear Paul Schaffaer sing, I don't know if I can watch them anymore either. Plus, I think Dave is going looney.
Okay, I'm not going to talk about just pitifully bad Craig Kilborn is. He's worse than Leno, and his show should just be put out of it's misery... The only bright spot: Kilborn does not have a dopey band leader to stroke his ego.
So, that leaves Late Night, with Conan O'Brien. What makes Conan so funny is that he is so pathetic. And, what makes that okay is that he admits to it. Also, Late Night has the best band leader in the business, Max Weinberg. What I like about Max is that he doesn't lower himself to laughing hysterically at all of Conan's jokes. Paul and Kevin Eubanks, on the other hand, laugh like idiots at all the jokes delivered by their respective hosts. Paul with his nasal exclamation of: "Aaaaahhhhhhhh, haaah, haaah..." and Kevin with his hiccup style performace: "Hyeh, Hyeh, Hyeh...[breathe] Hyeh, Hyeh, Hyeh..." It's sad, and I feel like smacking them and then taking away their microphone privileges.




Slapped up here on 4/20/2002 08:15:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

Usually, if you give me an hour or two [and a pen, and a thesaurus] I can complete the crossword puzzle in the Daily Evergreen. This, however, is only done on Mondays and Tuesdays because those are the only ones I can finish. The puzzles get progressively harder throughout the week, and by Wednesday my intellectual level is surpassed by the crossword puzzle. And, this is a good thing. If I could easily complete the Friday puzzle, what would that say about me? It would say, "Suzy is a big 4-eyed lame-o who spends all her time becoming proficient at completing crossword puzzles and not nearly enough learning how to scuba dive."
Which brings me to my point -- I want to learn how to scuba dive.



Slapped up here on 4/19/2002 12:32:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

I'm sick of this name. It's easy to refer to, but I want something original. Something zany, and catchy... some possibilities:

1. The Retort Report
2. Unattainable Laxation
3. Barnacle Boulevard
4. Thwarted Thwack
5. Vernacular Verbiage
6. Twitterpated
7. Seasoned Rookie
8. Grandiloquent
9. Mental Debris
10. Phalangical Movements
11. Hypothetical Fortune

Other suggestions will be accepted. Something will be selected. Only the best will do.


Slapped up here on 4/17/2002 07:13:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

Look! Look at the psychos!



Names will not be released in order to protect anonymity...


Slapped up here on 4/17/2002 02:45:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

Low, slow, slurring monotone voices make my ears sad. The only one who can pull it off is Steven Wright. And, my genetics professor is no Steven Wright. I tend to tune out on a regular basis in that class. I only pay attention when certain words slip in. Words such as "fetus", "nematode", and "helix-turn-helix". Then, my mind starts spinning:

'fetus is weird word. everybody in this room was a fetus at one point. that is really weird. i can't imagine myself being a fetus. what if i could remember when i was a fetus? all warm, dark, and cozy... everybody was one... including the professor. ew, gross. the professor is gross. being a fetus is gross. warm and gross... i lived for 9 months inside my mom. as a fetus. a slimy, underdeveloped, little, human being. fetuses-fetuses. a fetus nematode. worms are gross. slimy and gross. like a fetus. .... i wish he would have done a little dance to demonstrate a helix-turn-helix. that would have been funny..."

As you can see, my stream of consciousness is not something I readily offer up to people. It is usually riddled with nonsensical blab and incomprehendable speech. But, I enjoy it. At least, I enjoy it more than genetics. And, at least I'm not still a fetus.


Slapped up here on 4/16/2002 05:27:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

As far as I'm concerned, there should be no more new tv shows. Or at least there should be no more new tv shows that debut without at least consulting me first. I think I know what could work, and what would go down in flames of humilty. There is just too much crap on tv these days. A whole wheel-barrow full of no-names and has-beens have tried to create a half hour of entertainment and have failed miserably. It really makes me want to vomit.
Their problem?
A raging combo of bad mojo. Creativity deficiency, unoriginality, no potential, and absolutely no talent.

I had intended this post to be much more insightful. I tried, but I got too tired. Just be aware of the potential lurking beneath the rough exterior and everything will be okay. Feel free to laugh at how pathetic it all is...



Slapped up here on 4/15/2002 10:54:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

Mom's weekend. Mom's weekend. Mom's weekend.
WSU was infested with moms. The joint was crawling with 'em! Carrying bright red bags from The Bookie [book store], the moms were huffin' and puffin' their way up the Pullman hills. And, in every nook and cranny, the moms were piling up. It was quite entertaining.

My mom and my sister had a chance to find out how I truly live my life everday over here at school. We walked around, ate at roto, walked some more, fought the wind, went to chemistry "class", walked some more, paid too much for coffee, and then walked some more in the pelting rain. At some point during the day, we had dinner. Luckily, I had my camera:

First, we were happy to be there and look as goof-ball as possible. We're good at that, look at us go.

Then, we ate. Fish and chips, and wine, and bread. Fine Italian dining out of a plastic basket.

I approve! And developed tremendous gas...

Did Darla and Debbie get gas too? No, that's just their attempts at making funny faces. As you can see, they are not as educated as I...

I really tried to liven up the joint -- But, apparently I'm the only one who thinks I'm funny. Oh well, they're just a bunch of losers anyway.

But, in the end, there was nothing but love...
Maybe some accusation and hatred, but after that - more love.

Oh, and a monkey! His name -- li'l Belvedere Focker.

Some other stuff happend too. Such as -
1. Movies and McCougs till mignight.
2. Snore-fest 2002 taking place last night in MY room... I'm never sleeping in the same room with those people ever again...






Slapped up here on 4/14/2002 01:59:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

Moly! I am a virtual genius. It's not a well known fact that I own a kung-fu hamster [people really should keep things like these very hush-hush], and it's an even lesser known fact that I thought he was a gimp. He never "danced" like the other kung-fu hamsters did... and I always felt bad for him. Well, I replaced his 3 AAA batteries recently to pep him up a bit [he was losing his pizzaz], and I tried to show him how all the other hamsters do their "thang". As I was violently pushing and pulling his little hamster arms to and fro, and yelling, "Dance, you little bastard, dance!" the little bastard actually started dancing! Go, kung-fu hamster, go!

I think I've found my purpose in life.

If any of you out there have a deviant kung-fu hamster, give me a buzz, and I'll set 'em straight.


Slapped up here on 4/12/2002 01:09:00 AM by: Me, Suzy...

When I came out of Science Hall, what was the first thing that popped into my head?

Well, I'll tell you, "Hey mister, you should not call that dog 'Lifesaver', you should call him, 'Shithead'."

It's because there is a "box" right beside the outside door that is rigged with warning lights and stuff to alert you of trouble and -- stuff. In fact, there is a plaque under some lights that says "TROUBLE". So, instinctively, I thought of Navin R. Johnson asking the stray Benji-esqe dog scratching at his hotel room door if there was trouble, and then the dog responding with an affirmative "Grrrrr". Eventually, the dog communicated to Navin that there was a fire in the building. Thus, Navin proceeded to alert the whole hotel that there was a fire. (When in actuality there was not. The dog was really just talking out of his ass. He's just a dog, what does he know?) Navin, the oblivious yet loveable fool that he is, proclaimed he was going to name the dog 'Lifesaver', but an elderly asian man butted in with his opinion when it was declared that there was no fire...
Then, Navin joined up with a traveling circus! I'm not kidding, he really did.

Hey, maybe you should just go watch the movie instead of making snap judgements about my sanity.


Slapped up here on 4/11/2002 03:21:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

I'm reverting back to childhood tendencies, it's a much easier lifestyle... I started monday night by drawing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just like we drew them as kids. This morning, I was drawing lightning bolts and tornados on my homework. And now, the whole rolling in dirt thing. I'm telling you, It's fun to lose your mind. Next thing you know, I'll be back to playing with Pound Puppies and being oblivious and happy. Not knowing that later on in life I'll encounter people who seem to exist solely to break the spirit of everyone else...


Slapped up here on 4/10/2002 04:43:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

I got some new shoes today. I ordered them through www.classicsportsshoes.com. They're Adidas [Rod Laver]. I like them because they're plain, and hinted with green. The only problem -- they are really, really, really white. They're shiny white. Toilet bowl white. And, aren't socks supposed to be whiter than the shoes? Or, at least as white. Yeah, I thought so too... These shoes put my socks to shame. So, I'm gonna have to go outside and roll in the dirt to dingy them up. Not only will it dingy the shoes, it will give me the opportunity to go roll in dirt!


Slapped up here on 4/10/2002 02:47:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

Like every other tuesday night these past 8 months, we were in the Webster physical science building until late-late-late. So late in fact, they turned the lights out on us! All these thoughts suddenly enter our minds -- the shut the power off, the elevators are shut down, we have to walk down 12 flights of stairs - we can't turn the lights back on - a murderer is lurking in the hallways - they lock the building up! We can't get out! We end up dismembered in the 12th floor lounge!
After the initial freak-out, and almost pissing our pants, we composed ourselves and prepared for the worst... the worst being -- we end up trapped in the physics building all night. Still, just the thought of it sends the shivs down my spine. Even though spending a night in the physics building would have been one of the funniest things to ever happen in my life, I still didn't want to do it. We planned to run amok if such a thing should ever happen. We started by pushing a chair over. Then, this happend:






Slapped up here on 4/10/2002 12:37:00 AM by: Me, Suzy...

I have a headache the size of a thousand ponies riding a roller coaster. Just the fact that the last sentence I typed makes sense to me portrays the severity of the situation. Okay, so maybe I am exaggerating. My head is not even that big... The ache is more like the size of 2 butterflies doing the tango. Because, that'll fit in my head. And they are also doing the electric slide right behind my eyeballs. My vitrous humor is not taking a liking to the winged bugs... I am going to bed now.


Slapped up here on 4/08/2002 11:57:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

I've always wondered about the intricasies of a good joke. How does one invent a new hilarious joke? It has to be something innovative and original. Something shocking, yet wholesome. Something easy to remember, but not to obvious to understand.
I know that you have to, in a way, work backwards. Sort of like writing a mystery novel. You have to start out with a punch line and then fabricate the rest. In theory, the punchline should be the easy part...
So, I have stayed awake at night pondering this very subject, desperately trying to think up that perfect joke. But, no matter how hard I tried, I could never top the asian in charge of supplies, or the midget with the irritated crotch. So, I am just going to give up.


Slapped up here on 4/07/2002 08:37:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

Today is almost still Saturday. For dinner subway tonight is what I had. Nose prints on corrective lenses followed by excessive gas. I might want a future turtle by the name of Jeffery P. Jones. But, do I want the responsibility of telling people that I have a turtle named Jeff? And that I named him after my chemistry teacher? My very own Coke cooler cup says that I am #1 - although the 'S's are backwards - I acquired this for my good deed. 48 hr showers conserve shampoo. If I ever am in trouble, I am only going to a "professional mall". Dockers, flat-front khakis. I had the audacity to try and explain the concept of a "Randy Van Someren". 3 weeks till Tenacious D. 1 week till Bill Cosby. I'm not going to see Bill Cosby. I am going to see the D. Can you hold this, so I can lick my car key?

No matter what anybody says, sobriety is just as inebriating.


Slapped up here on 4/06/2002 11:40:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

"My soul is like a toy that never breaks!"
><))'> <'((><
I was watching a special about Sasquatch the other day. Actually, it was about a week ago. But, I had totally forgotten about it until I was contemplating the never ending search for him. Now, I think this was just an everyday, run of the mill, Sasquatch show except for one special detail - it featured the expert opinion of Washington State University professor, Grover Krantz. I was floored when I heard that there was actually an "expert" on Sasquatch on my campus, mine! There was footage of Grover talking about feet [note: there was a substantial mole located on Grover's brow, right between the eyes], and also footage of him mimicking the Sass gait on the mall! I was like, "No WAY! I've walked right there! Several times!" Maybe I should walk down the mall like Sass one day too...
Since I was pretty psyched, following the viewing of this informational program I looked up good ol' Grover on the WSU directory. And, I'm sad to say that Grover is no longer a professor at WSU. Rather, he is living in Port Angeles... and hopefully still in search of the everloving Sasquatch. God speed, little buddy...


Slapped up here on 4/04/2002 08:01:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

Today is, by far, the best weather day I have experienced in about 6 months. It started snowing over here near Thanksgiving of last year and the coldness continued up until about a week ago. My weatherbug says it's only 50º, but it feels hotter, like lava, it's hot! Well, not that hot, but with the sun shining through my window on to my back it's gloriously fabulous...
I was going to write about how the sun makes up for how stupid I was this morning when I accidently put face wash on my hair [after already washing my hair] and only after about 5 seconds of my hand being on my head, and knowing something was odd, did I realize exactly what I had done... But, even though it's the truth, it just doesn't make any sense.


Slapped up here on 4/03/2002 02:37:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

I was down in our lobby the other day finishing some unfinished business and I spotted an unguarded 'Science' magazine. Being the nerd that I am I picked the sucker up for some post study perusal. Plus, the cover had a picture of a big elephant ass, so I had to look at it. Anyway, as I started my journey through the experience that is 'Science' magazine, I started to notice a trend - zany advertisements. All the adverts were for things like DNA synthesizers or human genome sciences, and they were all made out to be just as exciting as only the scientists think they are. Many of them were quite disturbing and rather exuberant. I guess with as boring as all those topics are, they had to dress them up a bit so as to stir up some excitement about fast, easy plasmid purification with CONCERT™ 96...




Notice the little DNA double helix coming out each of the music notes... tragic.


Slapped up here on 4/01/2002 11:08:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...