comedians are funny:
"some day, i'd like to see a forklift carrying some forks - man, it'd be so damn literal!"
"It's dangerous to wave to someone you don't know because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're being cocky. 'Look what I got, motherfucker!'"
"I played golf. I never got a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. You're supposed to yell 'fore,' but I was too busy saying, 'There ain't no way that's gonna hit him.'"
"I wish I could play Little League now. I could kick some fucking ass. I'd be way better than before."
"Every time I shave I assume there's someone else on the planet that's shaving so I say, 'I'm gonna go shave...too.'"
"I had some Fritos one time. They were Texas Grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. Hell yeah. Reminds me of summer, we'd fire up the grill, and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on, 'You better flip that Frito dad...you know how I like it.'"
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."

these quotes come from the wicked mind of Mitch Hedberg.



Slapped up here on 1/22/2002 04:12:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...