it has come to my attention that i should no longer assume that all the idiosyncrasies that i may posses pertain to anyone else. i was foolish to think that any of you are also obsessed with rubber bands and paperclips. i apologize. profusely. just because i spend my nights spelling questionable words, and building random objects with the handy office supplies [or pretzels, if i can afford them] doesn't denote that you have any idea what i'm talking about. and rather, it has you thinking that maybe i should seek help. so, next time i will refer to something that you are all familiar with. like, just how tasty a cold pibb [or, pick your own poison: pep, dew, chocomilk] is after a long hard day of daydreaming.

but, get this, bobbo! i'm in my room, drawing amusing doodles on my mirror with a dry erase marker, and giggling to myself. then, out of the corner of my eye i detect a colorful thing out the window. and even though i am highly distracted by colorful and/or shiny objects, i shrug it off, i figure i'm just seeing things again. i continue with meticulously drawing the hair on froboy, but my eyes keep shifting to look out the window. i fight the urge -- for i am an artist at work! but, i succumb to my curiosity. and, with only half a froboy drawn i venture to the porthole to the outside world. and there it was boys and girls, feast your eyes - over there! in the distance -- in ALL it's glory! 'twas a hot air balloon. "holy monkey!" i hollered con gusto. holy monkey, indeed.


Slapped up here on 9/28/2001 06:25:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

remember in 4th grade when cat's cradle was all the rage? we were all obsessed with those strings... yeah... it's kind of like now, and how we are all obsessed with rubber bands and paper clips. you should've seen the masterpiece i created the other day. it was a pathogenic parasitic protozoan. i named him, gordie.


Slapped up here on 9/27/2001 09:24:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

"that was just the beginning! let's get crazy again!"
~~~~~~~~~~~
i've found that my walks to class, to the store, or to t-bell for some grubbage, consist of trying to find the most efficient, fastest, easiest, way to get there. sometimes i have no choice, for instance, the badass webster is right across the street. but other times, i'm deciding whether or not to cut through buildings, through grass, take stairs or hills. yes, that is quite a pickle... hills or stairs... it's all about experimentation, really. sometimes i stand at a 'fork' in my road, put a finger to my mouth in contemplation, and take a chance:
"i could cut through fulmer, or i could go either left or right... by todd? [sigh] why is bryan so far away? hmm, i should just walk past stimson and not McCoy... yeah, yeah that sounds good."
it actually sounds like i'm stuck in a sitcom plot where i'm trying to go on dates with multiple guys [with odd names] at the same time, w/none of them being the wiser. my friend, becky, or kelly, or chrissy, is trying to coach me through, but our shananagins only get us deeper into trouble...
or, sometimes i picture it like i'm a running back, heading for the endzone. i'll stiffarm or clothesline some innocent bystanders and scream, "move it or lose it, sister!" as i race to my destination. and when i find a prime way to go, i do a touchdown dance in my head. i'm #1! i'm #1!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"like when kg pops in jenny craig mac & chee, and hands it to - me! that's a special thing..." --jb [tenacious d]


Slapped up here on 9/27/2001 03:36:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

*shake well before enjoying*

scene: i am walking behind some random person --
me: "hey, you!"
them: "what the?" [they look behind them]
me: "yeah, you... hey, don't i know you from somewhere? oh, do you do yoga?" [i assume a position]
them: "umm, i don't think so. and, no, i don't do yoga." [a look of extreme confusion comes across their face and they start to walk away]
me: "are you sure? what's your name?" [i follow them and i raise my hand to my chin in interest]
them: "i'm not going to tell you that." [now they look afraid and start to walk faster]
me: "c'mon! oh, wait... wait a second! you -- you were in my canadian history class! ha - ha!" [i throw my arms up in realization]
them: [they turn around to face me] "no, psycho, i've never taken canad--"
me: "yup, in my canadian history class..." [i place my hands on my hips in satisfaction, exaggerate a head nod, and walk away unabashed]

*24 hrs later*

POLICE LOG:
wednesday - 12:49 p.m. Glen Terrell mall / WSU campus:
reporting party stated that a small annoying girl, with a red backpack, was going around campus claiming everyone was in her canadian history class. upon police arrival, suspect was nowhere to be found.


*refrigerate after opening* (cranappleraz is never wrong)


Slapped up here on 9/26/2001 01:21:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

this is by NO means, 'pick on asians day'... but i just thought these 2 links were kind of "interesting" and maybe a tad bit "disturbing". yes, yes, one may appear to be in poor taste, but it's just all in good fun... and, no, i didn't go galavanting and find them on my own... i got them via 'the ultimate insult'. he's got some other interesting links on there too.

alright, so i can't tell the difference. well, can you?

from here on out, i shall now be know as either, Zhao Xuanze, Zhu Shizi, Zhang Xuzhi, or Zhu Sizhao... i can't decide!!!

as a side note... i'm listening to "we built this city on rock and roll" on the radio... which is - like - so true for pullman, i mean, c'mon!


Slapped up here on 9/25/2001 12:35:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

the advertisement [pronounced: add-vert-tis-ment] for oracle @ delphi:

"tired of the same old dribble? are the woes of daily life causing you to look towards the dark side? [cue kids nodding in sad approval] well, put down that shotgun, billy, and lookyhere! oracle @ delphi is guaranteed to slice, dice, and mock all the details of everyday events until there is nothing left to discuss! offered special today, at a low - low price, o@d will give you a sense of self satisfaction and not leave a stinky taste in your mouth to take home. with the gratuitous use of the word, 'ass', oracle @ delphi will leave you gripping your sides, and through your tears of laughter, begging the hilarity to stop! but then craving more, more, MORE!!! everybody is talking about it, and all the cool kids are reading it! you want to be cool too, don't you...? comments include such things as: "kick-ass" "gnarly bitchin sweet-ass" and "rip-roarin' good-ass time!" now, i know what you're saying, "suzy, what makes you so damn good?" and, all i can say is, "i don't know, broseph, i guess i was just born with it..." oracle @ delphi -- guaranteed to kick the other blogs asses!"

note: offer not valid in WY, ID, MI, nor RI - the freak states.


Slapped up here on 9/24/2001 09:14:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...

you can tell which pens i use the most by seeing how much the pen cap is obliterated to bits by means of mastication. i chew my pens all day. it's what i do. it's a dirty dirty habit that should, by all means, be broken. i've tried the -- what do you call it...? oh, gum, to derail the cap chewing, but the urge still remains strong. sometimes, i get self conscious about my chewage when i turn to say something to a friend next to me, and they can't understand me because the pen cap in my mouth takes precedence over the verbal communication: "won de he sah da momewurk wash doo?" then, the situation gets worse when i pull the pen cap out and a glob of spit accompanies it. then, with the pen cap still in my hand, everything switches into slow motion as i watch in horror when the stringy spit glob falls on to my notes... "darnnit to heck, you guys." i might say [orignial quote edited for content, it may not have been suitable for younger viewers]. also, a nervous laugh might squeak out as i try to wipe up the evidence before anyone else sees it. and then, as i see that i've smeared my notes all to hell, a dissapointment groan slides out and makes my friends laugh at me... morals of the story: if you're going to chew pen caps, please chew pen caps responsibly. friends don't let friends chew pen caps. and, chewing pen caps is just a stepping stone to bigger things...

which makes me think... what if one day, i don't just stop at the pen cap. what if, one day, i eat my pen? just picture it, i have blue ink smeared all over my face. people begin to point, stare, laugh! and i become jittery trying to conjure up a good excuse. they'll all say, "suzy, what the hell is this?" and i'll say, "it's just... blueberry... filling. yeah, blueberry filling! i was eating a hostess pie in class.. heh heh... alright, okay! i learned it by watching you!" *shivers* this is no laughing matter people, this is serious disease. i hope i never stoop that low...


Slapped up here on 9/23/2001 07:23:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...