i went to the vending machine in the basement to purchase my dinner. i removed the quarters from my pocket and slid 4 of them into the coke machine money hole. after i pushed my desired button there was an awkward 'nothingness' which caused me to press the button again (repeatedly) "c'mon! [click-click-click] you piece of--" after that there was a comforting 'bum-bah-domp' of the coke bottle falling into the retrieval compartment. i reached down with glee and nabbed my tasty beverage. with my right hand i applied enough torque to twist off the confining cap and release the contents inside. i love the 'pshht - shhhh' of the bottle opening and the carbonation doing it's thing to try and escape from it's death container before i down the liquid and toss the empty worthless bottle away.
with that task completed, i moved on to the snack machine. it was rather empty so i didn't have much to choose from. but i spotted a twix bar in the lower right portion of the machine and i gasped in delight... "oooh, that twix bar is gonna be ooey gooey good!" i slid 3 quarters into the slot and pushed what i thought were the buttons E9 to get the twix. you can imagine my horror when i saw a bag of planters peanuts start to move. "NO! damn you! DAMN YOU!" i had pushed E6 by mistake! i am such a dumbass! there was nothing i could do to stop the madness as the peanuts fell into that little place where you push the flap in with your hand to get your snack. i thought for a split second that maybe i still had enough change to get the twix. with the skills i learned in 2nd grade i counted up my cents. fuck, a nickle short. man, that twix would've been good too.

***

this evening i made a sign for my friend to hang on her dorm door. it read as follows: ASK ME ABOUT GUY WORTHEY
i'm sure there are going to be many inquires.


Slapped up here on 11/27/2001 10:33:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...