simpsons genius expressed in quotes [these are only a few examples of the countless moments of hilarity]:

1.) Homer: "Lisa, I couldn't image anyone being more likable than you. But, apparently this new girl is! So, my advice to you is to copy her in every way."
Lisa: "But Dad!!"
Homer: "Ah, ah, ah, Lisa, think, is that what Alex would say?"

2.) Homer: "You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on."

3.) Marge: "Homer, I don't think women will like the idea of being shot in the face with a shotgun."
Homer: "Women will like what i tell them to like"

4.) Homer: "You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."

5.) Homer: "Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use."

6.) Homer: "Yes, honey...Just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle."

7.) Homer: "Marge, I agree with you -- in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory."

8.) Homer: "Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs."

9.) Bart: "Dad, thanks to TV, I can't remember what happened 8 minutes ago. No, really, it's a serious problem. Ha, ha, ha! What're we laughing about?"

10.) Homer: "Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm."
Lisa: "That's specious reasoning, Dad."
Homer: "Thank you, dear."
Lisa: "By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away."
Homer: "Oh, how does it work?"
Lisa: "It doesn't work."
Homer: "Uh-huh."
Lisa: "It's just a stupid rock."
Homer: "Uh-huh."
Lisa: "But I don't see any tigers around, do you?"
Homer: "Lisa, I want to buy your rock."

11.) Faith: Lisa, I'm Faith Crowley, Patriotism Editor of Reading Digest.
Homer: Oh, I love your magazine. My favourite section is How to increase your word power. That thing is really, really... good.

12.) Homer: So, how was everybody's day at school?
Bart: Horrifying!
Lisa: Pointless!
Marge: Exhausting. It took the children forty minutes to locate Canada on the map.
Homer: Marge, anyone can miss Canada, all tucked away down there.
Lisa: Well, _my_ teacher's a nightmare. Three kids got sick from inhaling his ointment fumes, he confiscated everything made of tin, and then he sent us home early because he got his beard caught in the pencil sharpener.
[at school, Abe tries to help Jasper get out of it]
Lisa: There's no way I'll get into an ivy league school now. At this rate I probably won't even get into Vassar.
Homer: I've had just about enough of your Vassar-bashing, young lady!


Slapped up here on 9/18/2001 05:13:00 PM by: Me, Suzy...